As I struggle at times to get my clothing on by myself, two thoughts cross my mind. The first thought is that I am a bit perturb that my caregiver is not assisting me with this. It takes me back to my childhood when the belief was that struggle was good for children with disabilities. My parents were told that they needed to let me struggle with various activities, and they were a bit too good at following the therapists’ advice. I thought it was mean and cruel, at least to a point. I understood that I needed to learn to do things on my own, but I also wished that they would reconsider once in a while and assist me, especially when they knew I could do something, but, for whatever reason it was taking longer than usual.
While I still like assistance at times to make things go a bit faster, I now understand how important it was that I learn to do as many tasks on my own as possible. I know that the inner strength I now have evolved from the days of struggling as a child. Many things I am able to do now were made possible because of my childhood trials and tribulations.
I know that I have stunned countless people when they see all the things that I am able to do on my own. I have even surprised some doctors and so-called experts, having them they say that there was no way I could possibly do this and that, when in fact I could. Once when we told our long-time family doctor that I had a part-time job as a clerk typist, he was shocked beyond belief. He looked at my mom and bluntly told her there was no way I could begin to type with the impaired hand coordination I had and the way my fingers curled. My mom set him straight immediately, saying that there is always a way if a person wants to do something bad enough.
Now as a Disability Rights Advocate, I have traveled enough for work, and am starting again (post Covid), especially now that I sit on a few statewide committees and one national executive board. Many times, I have travelled on my own, with no personal care assistant whatsoever, because of how independent I am. If my trip spans over a few days, then yes I need someone to help me shower, but my business trips are usually overnight and I am able to navigate airports and transportation sources on my own.
Had I not been left to struggle as a child, so many things that I can do now would not be possible. If I should one day live with a significant other, I relish the fact that I’ll be able to do enough for myself, even if they say that assisting me is no problem. The fact that I’ll also have resources to hire an assistant adds to this as well.
Struggle grows our fortitude; without struggle, we do not become the individuals we were meant to be. We each have known struggle in our lives. I would say that struggle is more so when a person has a disability, but not always. Some individuals with disabilities have never been allowed to struggle for much, and thus have a life so limited because of it. Imagine all that they could be today or do, had only they could have grown through struggle.
As always, let me know what you think of my blog post. Do you believe that struggle is necessary to grow strength?